less worry is ....

so i've got this massive problem, if i could call it problem.
for me i like to call it an expensive lesson instead.
not really a lesson though because this was happening when i was just being honest.
so just name it s h i t.
australian government screwed me up.
they made me paid certain amount of money.
f c u k.

when i got this letter, i was at home by myself.
i read it carefully, and i felt so bad.
almost faint, naah, kidding, just felt so angry actually.
didn't know what to do, confuse and sort of kinda feeling.
i was so reactive, called friends, try to find out what happened.
so typical panic circumstances.
i got some answers, and they said this kinda problem happens all the time.
i couldn't explain all the details here.
but if any of you who read this and so curious, i'm more than happy to tell the story.
because it's not the problem that i want to write, but the process of solving it.
ah, just keep reading ...

anyway
when adit got home from school, straight away i cried like hell.
no no, not because i was sad [sometimes people mix up why girls cry, as far as i'm concern, most girls cry because they're angry, and yes some because they're sad or whatever], so i was just so b l o o d y angry.
it's so typical me, angry so much can't stand it, cry is always the answer.
and i felt better afterwards as always.

the whole night we talked about this, the options and stuff like that.
basically, we're agreed to pay off and forget about this.
sure i wanted to over it as soon as i can.
but i know myself, once i got into problem normally it would carry on and on and on.

but IT WASN'T.
the next day, finished work i met naoko my japanese friend and sissel the norwegian.
those two girls are people who i talk to most of the time, and i could say, they're so me and i'm so them.
sometimes naive but realistic at the same time, laid back and easy.
naoko's respons so kicked out!
when i told her, she was just smiling, said,"fuck off, it happens all the time, just pay and forget it!"
sissel's one,"oh shit, what's wrong with them?" and in couple minutes we changed to other topic.
yeah i know, we are swearing a lot, and most of the time because of this stupid australian system.

so i'm over it less than 24 hours.
i was asking myself, wow, how could i have done this?
this is not me.
but, may be just like mom used to say to me.
"oouuw, my baby is growing up!"

so come to think of it, it might be true.
lia or
yulia or
jujul or
whatever you like to call me
has grown up.

so conclusion so far,
less worry is maturity.
not sure yet though
but i just want to put it that way.
can i?